Tag Archives: daughter

Reciprocity

Reciprocity 

Is key

To our “we”

Relationally

None of this me

Before you

Equality is the glue

Between us

Not one better

A relational fetter

Then I let it fester

Hold it all in

Try to reel it in

codependent

Where I give in

And you win

Relationship strained

I’m drained

Contained

Inside

Let it hide

Abide

In this unhealthy version of us

Can’t discuss

For fear

Of losing what’s left of us

So I keep it smooth sailing

Always failing

To hit the nail on

The head

So I Play dead

Instead

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Scheme

Wasn’t only a dream

More like a scheme

To see

IF I would break

I remember your hands

How they meant to do evil

An upheaval 

Of me

One of your own

As you sat on the throne

Of authority

Keeping me

From experiencing free

I remember learning young that love wasn’t real

Not something you feel

Just words

Empty

Free of meaning

Had to fight 

To scratch the surface

Of true purpose

Remember saying we were worthless?

Guess you won for a time

Waved my white flag in surrender

Bent

Broken

At least a thousand times over

Let their hands

Their words

Their bodies do evil

Personally engaged in my own upheaval 

It’s amazing

How the games changed

After years of absence

Now a passive

Existence

Of this abusive

Dynamic

You’re panicked

Because I remember

An ember

A small flame

Inside my members

That renders 

My self worthy

Not a flurry

But a fury of fight

Light 

Plus sight

Ignite

Because I remember

And won’t let it happen tonight 

From the Hood of A Child

Face down

Frownin’

From the waist down

Walking

From the neck up

Sulking

Chalking it up to the way it’s gonna be

Chin up

No luck

Still stuck

Commanded

Demanded

Reprimanded

Hardly standing

Muted

Hooded

Rooted 

In fear

Afraid to show face

No grace

Erased

Low

Only a shadow

Copy of the master

Disaster

Has to

Self destruct 

Erupt 

Fist up

Defenseless but defensive

Never wins

Pensive

Seeks revenge

Unhinged

But my father!

My rock

My guide

My master

The one that created this disaster

And I gotta ask

“Did you have to win?”

If so

A long time ago

I would’ve given in

Just hand me the gin

Sinking in

I could do it myself

Don’t care how I felt

Drink it down

Happy now?

Erased

Replaced

Now your slave

Wear the hood that you gave

To hide my face

Taste

And see

No more good

Beneath the hood 

Yet there I stood

Still don’t know how I could