Tag Archives: life

Reciprocity

Reciprocity 

Is key

To our “we”

Relationally

None of this me

Before you

Equality is the glue

Between us

Not one better

A relational fetter

Then I let it fester

Hold it all in

Try to reel it in

codependent

Where I give in

And you win

Relationship strained

I’m drained

Contained

Inside

Let it hide

Abide

In this unhealthy version of us

Can’t discuss

For fear

Of losing what’s left of us

So I keep it smooth sailing

Always failing

To hit the nail on

The head

So I Play dead

Instead

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Serendipity 

Fate

Destiny 

Or as some people put it, 

Serendipity 

I rather say timing

Clock chiming 

Time and place

Having faith 

In the system 

Belief – system 

His omniscience 

Our dependence 

Simon casting nets 

Empty as of yet 

“Cast again” 

To his chagrin 

“We worked all day and night,

Time isn’t right.”

Trust 

You must

In deeper waters

Let his net down 

Fish found 

By the hundreds

It’s a wonder 

Or is it?

That’s His grace

Past erased 

Present saved 

Future placed

In His most trusted hands.

Jude 

This poem I like to call Jude from book before Revelation in the Bible. 

Made me feel like I was looking in a mirror today so I decided to write about it. 

JUDE

Two sides to every coin 

How bout every person? 

One of the flesh

The other, a virgin 

One white as snow

Others give into the urge and 

How can this be?

This humanity 

One day sold out

The next, give up everything 

The written word

The song and verse 

Quick to turn Their backs

For the same old shackles 

and chains 

What’s my name?

Used to be holy 

Now I am to blame

Changed 

Back to the same 

Before I was saved 

Freedom’s not free

It cost Him his life 

Can’t hide behind 

Vice after vice

Telling lies and

Defying 

The one I fear 

Revere 

Fight back tears 

For making his death cheap 

Price was steep

Read em and weep 

Light

The light 

Creeps in 

Peeps in through a peephole 

Small yet just enough 

Revealing dust

On all sides

Light shed 

In small doses

Dark closes 

Hides

Conceals

Light reveals

The mess 

In it’s glory

My story

Light gets brighter

Bigger

Radiant glimmers 

Darkness slimmer

Defeat the enemy 

Fight his lies

His ties

His framing 

With vulnerability

Authenticity 

Lips speakin’ peace

Reality

Free

Enough 

Cleaned up 

Back to dust 

Staging 

Don’t get me

Don’t see

My empty

My need

Turned to another

A made up cover

Discovered

Your pride

Plus my vain

Ended in pain

Broken by shame

For a time

Veil on

Damage done

But not again!

Smiling faces

Heart races

From staging

This pretend love

Went on too long

Too sick

Too tired

Man fired

And a liar

So done !

Veil off

Staying off

This me

May not see

But now free

Worthy

Uncanny

Looking only

Back at me

Reflecting

What I see

Not another

No cover

Discover

For the first time

Me

Life mirror 

I’m writing this for no one. 

Except that I guess I am writing this for myself and well, I am someone. 

But what I really mean is that this is me, real , raw and open. 

See, I realized today that life is almost like a mirror. As I am almost finished wiping down all the mirrors in the gym today, something inspires me to slow down. 

I start to look at the fingerprints , some smudged , others imprinting almost the entire hand. And I begin to notice, really notice, each mark on the mirror. 

Then I begin becoming more aware of my strokes with the towel and cleaner. My movements become intentional and slow. I become entranced in this almost Karate Kid dance where my hands make circles starting from the outside and then stemming from the inside. 

And that’s when I realize that life is like that mirror. 

There have been and will be so many prints impressed on my life. Some prints are smaller, maybe the result of a minor experience or an interaction with an acquaintance. But it nonetheless made an impression. 

Others, larger, are much more detailed. A big marking on this life mirror. One that distorted or absolutely shaped my life. One that takes intentionality, mental effort and physical presence to rid myself of. 

None of these prints were good to me, these ones that need wiping. They left small and large stains that distort the clarity of my life mirror, the one that reflects who I am and more importantly, who God sees me as. 

See, I have to fight these influential prints daily. I am exhausted by not seeing myself clearly. I am tired of having to look into this life mirror and still see the residue left from the fingers and hands that have touched me, that made their mark. 

I want to be able to look into the mirror and see myself. 

But all the prints mask it. I wipe and wipe and squint to see the outline. I can’t make out my face . All I see is the aftermath and it’s ugly . Man, it’s ugly. 

Instead of obtaining the physical picture of who I am, the prints resemble impatience, regret, guilt, shame, anger, insecurity . 

I need industrial cleaner to clear the blemishes. They have been there so long, they held on so tight.  

I would like to get rid of them for good but as soon as one blot vanishes from the seeing glass, another one appears. 

I would like to be able to look at who I know I am. But for now I have to resign. 

One at a time it is. It may take days or weeks or months to clear that space on the mirror. To put into full view that piece of me. So with Karate Kid focus and intentionality, I’ll work. 

It is essential to me to one day see myself. Despite the work it will take to get there, I’m not willing to any longer let these markings stick and hinder the true reflection of me.