Tag Archives: mother

Silence 

Silenced 

To be silenced
It’s inner violence 
Being forced to withhold
A story to be told
A crushing of the inner 
A bleeding under skin and 
A heart growing dim 
She’s becoming a shadow 
A piece or a part
Not a whole 
Never whole 
Deep within the soul 
She’s Scared to make known 
What she’s been shown 
Her cover is blown 
When she takes the lid off 
How she was Forced to eat from the trough 
A Choke and cough 
From these scraps of love 
if it can be called that ? 
It was rather more like bits 
Midriffs 
Next “hits”
And their leftovers 
Can She Do overs ?
Abuse 
And hangovers 
These all meant to stifle 
Take out the rifle 
To Fire a shot 
At her voice 
That’s now here 
Loud and clear.

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Reciprocity

Reciprocity 

Is key

To our “we”

Relationally

None of this me

Before you

Equality is the glue

Between us

Not one better

A relational fetter

Then I let it fester

Hold it all in

Try to reel it in

codependent

Where I give in

And you win

Relationship strained

I’m drained

Contained

Inside

Let it hide

Abide

In this unhealthy version of us

Can’t discuss

For fear

Of losing what’s left of us

So I keep it smooth sailing

Always failing

To hit the nail on

The head

So I Play dead

Instead

No more body Shaming 2017


Read this today out of an updated rendition of “Our bodies, Ourselves”.

Made me want to give up the idea of playing a role. Playing a part.

I don’t mean dressing up for fun. I mean actually finding identity in how successful one is in this subtle, wide spread competition. 

I am denouncing any role I have played in the past. I am resigning. I will really strive this year to forget this body shaming business. This idea that the makeup companies and teeth whitening marketers and fashion designers want me to believe. This forced participation.

I am tired of hearing women complain. I’m tired of hearing myself complain. I’m tired of talking to a cardboard cutout. 

I can’t relate to it in this stage of my life. 

Cheers to no body shaming, no measuring up literally in 2017.

Pressure Peers

Peers that put pressure 

Mess with your 

View of self 

Go along with the rest

Test 

Pressed

In on all sides

To do what they do

You do

Voodoo

On who

They tell you to

Unable to think

Give you a wink 

And a nod

To go in that direction

Stressing 

The importance that you be like them

On a whim

Trim 

Same skin

Boxed in

Look the part

Throw the dart

At who you really are

Acting 

While they clapping

Cracking 

Up

Finally got caught

Cause you forgot

Them- you are not 

How much do we do because someone expects it?

Check it

We’ve wrecked it

Gave them the reigns

Put ourself back in chains

Now we’re to blame

Framed

For false pretenses

Fake images

Making copies and printing ’em

Handing them out by the hundreds

Mind stunted

Shunned

Grab the gun

Pull the trigger 

Cause we aren’t who we are

Far

Reality charred

Scarred

Marred 

For lack of integrity  

Dishonesty

Contrary 

To who I was made to be

My gospel in prose 

Drugs 

Twisted love

View of self smudged 

Beaten down and 

Drowning 

In 

Alcohol and substance 

Moved away 

Mother’s Day 

Nowhere to stay 

Moved in 

Stranger Inn

Taken advantage

Collateral damage

Put the bandage on 

With more “love”

More drugs

Almost fed up 

High level of stress 

Deflated air mattress 

“Come to my res…”

Cue 

The pay phone 

Going home 

All alone 

Nineteen 

Vow to be mean

To not be seen 

Dating 

Waiting 

For marriage or 

At least that’s what I thought I should do 

House plus two kids

Lost interest

“I deserve more than this.”

Twisted

Tangled

Heart mangled 

Harsh words

Still more…

“She’s not yours!”

Same here

Commitment smeared 

No tears 

Because 

Heart’s hard

Guarded 

Don’t get me started 

Found freedom

When speaking

The real thing 

Love warriors 

All over

Found healing 

Piece mealing 

Me back to health 

Eventually without stealth 

Finding wealth 

In this life again